Rebuilding _ Find your hobby
Parents being parents, had a feeling that their kids were rockstars (Don't they all think the same)and could achieve anything. My parents did have the same feeling too, they expected my sister and me to excel in academics as well as extra circular activities. The former never disappointed for sure she was fabulous at what she did and always had the hunger to do more and set higher targets for herself. The latter was a true Kolkata boy, where football and gully cricket was all he could think of.
The mother knew of dad’s talents she knew deep in her heart that the kids will too show some of these talents. So we got enrolled in drawing classes. I hated it from the bottom of my heart. I could not draw a tree as well, it was horrible. I adapted, made my sister draw for me and I colored the picture. My teacher would not like my use of colors, she always stated that I was too shy in using dark colors or making any sort of bold moves with my paintings. In a matter of years, I quit the classes, shuttled between many other classes but ended up with just Football and Cricket.
Years went by, I never touched a drawing book, not even drawn anything for the heck of it. I had lost touch would remember my drawing teacher at times laugh about the times we had; with my sister. She would always state that I could have done better and like always I brushed it off.
One fine day, a personal turmoil hit, I was diagnosed with some mental health condition. The therapist urged me to get myself a hobby, maybe writing or anything that kept me engaged and distracted for all the right reasons. I was staying with my sister and the most accessible items available to me were paints, brushes, canvas, and WiFi. I toyed with the idea for a few days, one fine day got on to YouTube to find easy beginners art to get used to things. I wasted paper, I wasted colors I wasn't getting into the zone. I kept pushing because getting back to my mental state was not an option. I had to wipe clean my past, my horrible experiences; This was my driving factor. I starting churning paintings. Somedays I made close to 3 paintings.
I was free, I was not worried or troubled anymore, I was happy. This hobby started helping me, it pushed me to do harder ones, pushed me to repurpose my life. I had found meaning, a purpose, a calm state of mind, I knew that this will help me. Today after selling 4 paintings, shifting from small canvases to larger ones, making copies of what great maestros did, I am happy, I have found “Inner Peace” I had become Shifu.
I hope that I get better with each passing day and keep finding myself in a better space and in a great mental state of mind.
Note to all: Find that hobby, immerse yourself into it, keep doing it not for the world but for yourself, we all have the right to be happy and empowered.
Courtesy to all the YouTubers and Insta accounts that helped me with ideas and techniques